On emotional sobriety

I’d like to talk about emotional sobriety.

As you may or may not know, emotional sobriety is the cornerstone of addiction recovery work.

Being emotionally sober means having the ability to feel all your feelings, all your emotions, being present with what IS, in your body, and without the need to change the way you are feeling.

In our society, we hear about the qualities of feelings every day: there are good or bad feelings, helpful and unhelpful emotions, and so on. And we have come to believe that as long as we concentrate on feeling the good feelings, we will be happy.

Think about that: we are told to bypass our feelings.

It’s much like trying to keep an inflatable beach ball under water. The time, effort, energy, and concentration that act requires is enormous.

Instead, we have the option of building resilience.

We have the option to choose to be with ALL our feelings, without judgment. To be present in our bodies, with what is, not what we wish or imagine. 

When I realize I am not present to my feelings, and I am not experiencing my body other than thinking of it as a vehicle to carry my brain around, sometimes all I need to get back is to rub two finger tips together. Other times I deliberately sing and dance to some of my favorite tunes. And sometimes I need to feel the touch of a loved one, water splashing on my face, my feet firmly planted on the earth, or becoming aware of how my breath expands my chest.

 What are some of your favorite ways to be present with all that is, all your feelings and emotions, and fully experiencing your body?