The choice is yours

You have a choice. And the sum of your choices is your life.

The quote above, or others similar in meaning, has been attributed to many different people. At first glance, it seems like a generic line. But when you read it again, you might find that it is more profound than you initially thought.

You may remember an “old” (well, it was the 1990s!) movie called Sliding Doors. In it the protagonist happens to miss one train (the Tube in London) in one scenario but catches that train in another scenario. We witness the number of ways her life unfolds differently in each of the two scenarios.

I frequently think of that movie, because of the way it illustrates perfectly how we are choosing in every waking moment. Our life as we live it today, is the result of the decisions we made yesterday, last month, last year, ten years ago.

I had a conversation recently with a client about how stuck she felt in a highly contentious employment situation. She could not simply walk away because it would impact her income as well as her social standing. She felt that she had no choice but to stay.

After our work in one session, she came up with a plan to move on within 3 months, with her income unaffected, with more exciting employment opportunities, and without guilt or shame.

Here’s the process we worked through:

Pick a situation in which you feel stuck right now, or where you feel you simply don’t have a choice.

Step 1/ Reality check

Write down or bring to mind “the” situation. Got it?

Now lean into the situation more and approach it as if a friend or colleague was telling you about this.

Do you have uncomfortable feelings of helplessness or lack of control about the situation?

Now for the big, hairy, and difficult question: what choice(s) have you made that have led to this situation? What have you prioritized instead?

Step 2/ take ownership

Without self-punishment and with kindness and compassion for yourself, ask yourself what your role in the situation is/was.

This is a beautiful invitation to take your power and your energy back and bring focused attention to it.

Step 3/ take action

You see what choice(s) have led you to be where you are now. Now, you can make a different choice. Anything is possible.

Give yourself permission to take action towards what you want: what is the first step you can take today to start the shift?

Now be the person who embodies intention and focus.

Repeat these 3 steps whenever necessary.

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Before you know it, you will be living a life that you love, and that loves you back!

I’d love to hear how you are getting on.